When the Eggshell Cracks - What Happens to the Yolk?

Scene 1

Antonio Brown is in Dubai, and when he gets back to the US, he’ll be arrested for attempted murder.  I have a sneaking suspicion he’s not coming back for a while.  It’s said that he wasn’t quite as rambunctious before taking a pretty big hit in the head in a 2016 NFL playoff game. You can see it on YouTube.  I gotta warn you…it’s an alarming smash to the head.  If that kind of thing bothers you, don’t look.  Some say that was the day Antonio Brown stopped existing, and AB was born. 

A lot can happen in a millisecond

The bells and whistles of what seems to be a growing insanity didn’t publicly exist before the hit.  Afterwards, it's been a circus.  Furniture flying off a balcony, accusations of domestic violence, sexual assault, and refusing to pay bills, for starters.  Add in the wacky social media posts and exposing himself on video at a pool.  Then let us not forget showing up to his first Oakland Raiders practice in a hot air balloon.  He quit the Raiders and joined the Patriots.  Then he wound up in Tampa Bay. And in one of the strangest moments in NFL history, he ripped off his pads mid-game and walked off the field, shirtless.  He didn’t even give his two weeks' notice. 

Scene 2

Bono was seemingly tipsy on a beach one night, smoking cigarettes with his good friend, Michael Hutchence – the lead singer of INXS.  The two of them were talking about Kurt Cobain, how he ended his own life…and why?  It appears from his writing that Bono had a deep respect and love for Hutchence.  I suppose having the lead singer of U2 refer to you as a “proper” rock star would be akin to Tiger Woods calling you a great golfer. 

Left to Right: The Edge; Michael Hutchence; Bono

It also appears from his writing that Hutchence made quite an impression, then left the deep-thinking Bono bewildered.  That’s because Hutchence, like Cobain, also took his own life.  Everyone always asks how they did it…as if it makes a difference.  To cover that, Cobain used a gun.  Hutchence with a rope.  In other words, they both set out to do it.  These weren’t “accidental” overdoses or “falls” from high places. 

Hutchence and AB

Hutchence was old enough to be AB’s dad.  There is no public record of them ever meeting, but they have something in common.  A few years before the lead singer of INXS took his own life, he got into an altercation with a cab driver.  It got physical, and the cab driver threw a punch that knocked Hutchence to the ground, where his head hit the curb.  It cracked his skull, actually.  The crack in the eggshell was treated correctly – but what the hit did to the yolk – clearly, was not. 

Bono and his wife noted changes in Hutchence, seemingly behavioral.  It reads like drugs and alcohol got a backstage pass into his life.  I glean from what he wrote, that Bono was unsure about how to handle his friend.  He saw it one way when the guy was alive, then surely another after he passed. 

Bono is a deep thinker.  I know that many of these rock stars and other famous types have their stories written by others.  But not this dude.  No way.  He’s the only one who knows the reason behind every lyric, and the true meaning of every song.  He’s an artist.  No real artist is going to hand someone else a paintbrush.  They’d just mess up the work. 

His story about Hutchence is important.  And AB’s too.  They both took life-altering hits.  The big stage that they are on gives us something to see.  We watch because we recognize something in the wreckage — a flicker of our pain, or someone we love spiraling in real time.

Not the hit in the head part. The spiraling part that comes after the hit. Not always so clearly defined — like one that nearly decapitates a football player, or another that splits a singer’s skull.

Hits come in many forms, from many angles. Big, unexpected blows — like sudden death, or learning of an affair. Or death by a thousand cuts — kids who grow up in the streets, never get educated, and never get out. Enough time passes without hope, and there you go. 

And that’s why Bono wrote the song, Stuck in a Moment.  He was talking to his friend, who was gone already.  If my post inspires you to, go ahead and look up the lyrics.  You’ll see what I mean. It seems to me that Bono was angry at Hutchence for taking his own life.  But by writing the song, he’s telling us he’s angry at himself, too. 

Because sometimes, that’s all it takes. One moment. One hit. One downward spiral that no one knows how to interrupt.

We look at guys like AB and say, “What the hell happened?” Bono looked back at his deceased friend and said, “Could I have stopped him?” In both of these famous cases, we shake our heads at the wreckage, forget these two, and get back to scrolling.

Is there an AB in your world?  Perhaps a version of Hutchence?  What if we didn’t wait for the damage to be permanent? What if we stopped glamorizing breakdowns and started noticing them? What if we asked someone what’s really going on before they post something unhinged, or disappear into isolation, or walk out of the stadium with their shirt off?

Watching people crushed by the weight of their own lives shouldn’t be news. Most people are fighting something they haven’t put words to yet. Sometimes the spiraling is quiet. Sometimes it’s loud. Sometimes it’s funny until it’s tragic.

My point is this.  Support doesn’t need a stage. Prevention doesn’t need applause. And love doesn’t wait until the funeral. If you have a friend who is stuck in a moment, you can be the one who makes the difference. 

Bono got his inspiration for that song from unimaginable guilt, grief, and pain.  His message to us is to take action for those we care about and love as soon as we can.  As soon as they need it.  Aside from the fact that we couldn’t write and sing a song like that – we’d never have to.