In the Land Between Fairy Godmothers and Flamethrowers

I had a cheap waffle maker, you know the kind that opened like a clamshell – not the higher-priced Belgian one that flips. It made heart-shaped waffles, actually. When the Buffalo Bills were playing on the road, on those Sundays, I’d start cooking at around 11 AM. We’d have other stuff going on too…bacon, orange juice, coffee, an active chess board…and mimosas. We couldn’t go to the game, so that was our tailgate. By halftime, there’d be batter all over the counter – but none on the floor. Because Reggie Jackson – my cocker spaniel – followed me around doing his part to keep the place clean.

Prob not on Netflix - But you can borrow my DVD

It was on one of those mornings that my pals and I got into it about the best and worst movies of all time. I was all about Gladiator, The Outlaw Josey Wales, The Lion King, and Rocky IV. Then one of my friends broke it to me that all four of those movies were drawn from the same script, with their casts in different costumes. Someone gets killed in the beginning – Josey’s wife, Maximus’ wife and kid, Apollo Creed, and Mufasa. Then Josey, Maximus, Rocky, and Simba get to doing their thing – and that makes us feel good. I was told I could only pick one. So, I went with Josey Wales. Because I have my reasons.

I guess there is a formula for this type of movie. And when they don’t kill off the main character at the end, they’re so good that we get to watch the sequels. Walt Disney movies of old, on the other hand, played it differently. The Disney formula – the one that draws in the kids – took a little more creativity. An elephant with floppy ears, a puppet with a nose that grows with his lies, and with the help of fairies, a boy who could fly, and a beauty made even more beautiful because of a gown, a stagecoach, and a pair of glass slippers. But Walt was an adult – and he knew the kids weren’t going to the theaters by themselves. Mr. Disney made sure there was something in there for the parents, too.

I have this recurring image in my mind of Peter Pan jumping out of the window, with Wendy calling after him, “What if I fall?” To which Peter responds, “My darling, what if you fly?” And it pretty accurately captures the adult reminder in that story: our childhood curiosity, our imagination, our smiles get eaten alive as we age. At some point, dominated by ridicule and fear, “What if I fall?” can easily become life’s mantra.

What if I fall? Oh my darling…what if you fly?

My mom used to read me the Little Golden Book – Dumbo – about an elephant who could fly. Just like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, he got picked on because he looked different. Dumbo, with ears that doubled as wings, thought he needed a magic feather to get airborne. Just like we feel we need college degrees to be smart or paintbrushes to be creative. Turns out that’s not true. Dumbo never needed the feather; one can be smart without paying tuition – and I will write my blog if I want to.

Snow White is out there doing her thing – and she’s hated for merely existing.  The Dwarves came to her rescue. Cinderella – don’t get me started. In the face of adversity, she stays kind. Then, in the years after Mr. Disney, the plots began to change. Because Anna, in Frozen, when she got pissed, it got mighty cold outside. Now, you know, I know, and everybody knows that we aren’t getting bailed out by Dwarves, Fairy Godmothers, or – despite our best efforts – the voice of reason offered by Jiminy Cricket. That guy isn’t all that easy to listen to at times.

So when whoever wrote The Outlaw Josey Wales met up with Walt Disney – together they came up with The Lion King. The kids got all the joy of a Disney cartoon – complete with Hakuna Matata. The adults got to see Simba leave Pride Rock dejected, only to come back with a flamethrower for his Uncle Scar. But Walt wasn’t leaving it at that, was he?

Leave it to the ghost of Mr. Disney, through a kids movie to remind the mommys and the daddys: you aren’t running away from the hurt, the guilt, the shame, or the pain of your life. No matter how far away you go, you’ll be carrying it with you. And you don’t get a monkey named Rafiki hitting you with a stick to define the conditions of your life.

That’s my favorite part of The Lion King. Where Simba talks about facing his past. Then the primate hits him. Simba’s like “ouch” and asks what that was for. Rafiki tells him it doesn’t matter – it’s in the past. The past. A thing we can learn from. Then he swings at Simba again, and Simba ducks. I know that every mom, dad, grandma, and grandpa in the theater saw that scene quite differently than the littles they brought to see it.

My favorite Lion King scene

We know precisely what that stick feels like. At one point or another, you, me, everyone ran from something they didn’t want to face. A mistake. A loss. A memory. A younger version of ourselves. Just something not worth remembering – yet we always do and always will.

Simba’s fight wasn’t with his uncle. It was with a belief he had about himself. And just like that cartooned lion, there’s a narrative most adults carry silently – What if I fall?

That’s why we love Disney movies – and the character Josey Wales. In Disney, the main character always gets bailed out. Josey Wales, on the other hand? Not even the ghost of Walt Disney could save his foes.

When it's all said and done, we watch these movies to applaud the characters that get knocked down and stand back up. Walt Disney gave us hope that when were in jams the world might send a Fairy Godmother. Josey Wales reminded us the world will do no such thing.

And somewhere in the middle is where most of us live – ducking sticks, carrying scars, and trying to remember that without a magic feather or Tinker Bell, there’s still a chance we might fly. If we’re lucky, we land on our feet. If we’re brave, we get back up when we don’t.