Biting Bullets and Sucking Up Buttercups - That’s How Winning Gets Done
Another classroom, of sorts
My son and I walked into the boxing gym just before 5:30 tonight. It had the boxing gym look and feel, with a multicolored rubber training floor, a side room with every type of heavy bag known to man, and training equipment – like jump ropes, weights, and exercise machines. Most important – there was a boxing ring, with ropes and turnbuckles, just like you see on TV. It was fluorescently lit – and didn’t smell all that bad, considering what goes on there all day and all night.
I filled out the paperwork and had a chance to talk with the guy who runs the place. One thing I like about when I first meet people is how I take in my impressions of them, based usually on some pretty little things. Sometimes, it's their ability or inability to make eye contact. The tone of voice, how a person stands, and where their eyes go when they first meet you. These are important details because subconsciously…or sometimes consciously, our intuition or experiences give us signals about who we interact with. Some people blink way too much or look at the windows and doors – mainly when they are lying.
My track record for identifying scumbags early on has been pretty good – with increasing accuracy as the years have gone on. I think every instance of being duped by someone makes us better at picking up on it the next time around. This post isn’t about that liar, though. Nor is it about the cheat or that thief that you let get way too close for way too long. This is about my walking into a new place for the first time, meeting someone new, and making quick sense of the new world to which I am introducing my soon-to-be teenage son.
Over the years, I’ve been on plenty of wrestling and judo mats and had many opportunities to train in places hand-picked for the tough. You know when you walk into these joints pretty quickly, not by what anyone says – but by what everyone is doing. Within 60 seconds of walking into this place tonight, I was like….Yes. I saw leg work, speed work, wraps and gloves, legit scary shadow boxing, and kids learning how to do work in the corner of the ring with the coach walking them through the motions as though it were a dance class. You know you are in a good place for training when you marvel at what you see the trainees doing.
Like any dad signing his kid up in a punch-and-be-punched type of place, I told the head coach, “He’s never done anything like this before.” This dude was no bullshit. He just said, “Right. He’ll get tough.” Then I said, “I am unsure if he can take a punch.” The guy said, “You think you are the first dad to say that?” And that was it. Within minutes, my son had gloves and was punching at moving targets. Within 20 minutes, he was ducking under swinging hands. Within 40 minutes, he was moving around with gloves in front of another kid. This was a no pageantry; you learn how to box by boxing type of place.
Mickey Goldmill - Played by Burgess Meredith
The class ends, and my son asks if he can stay for another hour to work the bags. Fine with me. He loved it. But…he didn’t get hit. So while we were in the car and he was going on about all of the things he did tonight, I asked him if he thought it was better to be able to throw a punch or take a punch. For a 12-year-old, his answers are always adroit – so he said both. It’s A or B, though. One has to be a better quality for a fighter to have. Which is it? I asked again. A) Throw a punch. B) Take a punch. Which one is more important? Take a punch, he said.
There is a scene in the first Rocky movie where Carl Weathers and Sylvester Stallone are amidst their first epic battle. Each is throwing and taking big haymaker punches. Sweat is flying off their heads; mouths are wide open sucking air, puffy eyes, bloody noses, stumbling, and falling. Creed, the more skillful boxer of the two, finally gets Rocky down with a series of blows. And while Rocky is on the ground, Apollo raises his hands in victory with his back to his downed opponent. Mickey, Rocky’s trainer, is screaming for him to stay down. When Apollo turns around, he sees Rocky standing with his hands up – ready to go some more. Whether Stallone planned it this way or not, the look on Carl Weathers’ face in the choreography is priceless. Although he was winning the fight, he looked defeated to see that Rocky stood up for more. Excellent foreshadowing for Rocky II, or Rocky IV when Ivan Drago refers to Rocky as a piece of iron, before his own defeat.
Let’s go. Watch this before you have to face a challenge.
I am getting a little long in this one and have to kind of cut it here. I’ve been advised to keep the posts to less than 1,000 words. People stop reading at a certain point. For now, just think about the punches you’ve taken in your life. The success of anyone is less about what they’ve accomplished and more about what they had to overcome to accomplish it. And tonight, my son brought that up in a way. As we were working through this conversation, he was the one who said punches aren’t just in fights. He recognized that they come in life, too. And at his point, he said, “I know you’ve been hit a lot, Dad.” He amazes me at times.